When I was introduced to the concept of "Rackets" in my Transactional Analysis psychotherapy training, I didn't get it and switched off. As with many psychotherapy concepts, they often seem more complicated at first than they really are. I love to share concepts with my clients, so I like to simplify. It helps the client, and it helps me!
When I think of a racket in every day life, I think of a scheme, or a scam. Like Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses - running a racket down the market! (apologies if you're too young to remember this!).
This is exactly how I see a psychological racket feeling. It's a feeling that is a bit of a scam. A feeling we have sub-consciously developed to hide the true feeling lurking beneath. A deeper feeling which we have somehow discounted. The 'authentic feeling' often being masked will likely be Fear, Joy, Sadness or Anger.
Fanita English calls a racket feeling "a substitute feeling, in the present for a prohibited feeling from the past, particularly as a response to a stressful situation”. Later, she goes on to say it is “a series of transactions with ulterior motives which take place outside of Adult consciousness, accompanied by unpleasant feelings amongst participants."
We may have developed these rackets as a child in order to protect ourselves, or to gain some kind of recognition (a 'stroke') from someone else, or perhaps because we had people around us telling us an authentic feeling was bad - of course, no feeling is 'bad'.
Imagine the child who was sad at Christmas because he didn't get the presents he wanted. His parents told him he should be grateful for what he has received. This happens subsequently at all birthdays and Christmases afterwards. As an adult, perhaps this person will deny sadness and present as grateful, despite feeling sad inside. Here, gratitude is the racket feeling for sadness.
Increasingly, I am seeing a lot of clients in my therapy room who present with anger, but this actually masks (and discounts) a feeling of deep sadness. They are getting angry, because experiencing and feeling the sadness is just too hard to bear. I am often encouraging these clients to learn to sit in the sadness and vulnerability - to feel what they really feel and to acknowledge that authentic feeling. This means me offering a permission to the client to explore what that sadness means to them.
Some even argue that anxiety might be a racket feeling - fear masking something else. I would go further and propose that anxiety can result from denying authentic feelings. Pushing those authentic feelings down, usually leads to an inevitable 'leakage' at some point, or in some cases even an explosion of emotion.
The important thing to remember here is that no feeling is wrong or bad. Sit with the feelings. I often tell my clients to ask themselves the question "what's going on here?" and then when they have answered that, to ask "what's REALLY going on here?". This will often expose that deeper level process which needs to be acknowledged and processed.
If you notice racket feelings causing issues in your life, and you would like to speak about how therapy could help, please feel free to get in touch.
I offer a no-obligation, free 30 minute chat to all proespective clients. Details, and how to book a consultation with me can be found on my website, or by contacting me.
Comments